Should We Trust Immoral Leaders?
0 Comment Last updated: 2016-10-15 10:59:41Should We Trust Sexual Immoral Leaders?
by Chris Asher
Affairs, sexual assault, sexual addiction; it is all around us. Most of us have been personally impacted directly or indirectly by it.
Wild sexual exploits of politicians make great fodder for late night comedy shows. Nevertheless, most of us are in disbelief when one who has attained national or state leadership is caught bragging about sexually assaulting women, sexting, cheating on his wife, fathering children by their housekeeper, having sex with or propositioning young interns, performing lewd acts in public bathrooms, or sexually harassing employees.
In the past most political leaders who were sex addicts, like President Kennedy, were protected by a group of aids who tried to keep their exploits under wraps. People whispered, but tended to look the other way. It wasn’t until Bill Clinton was exposed and impeached, that sexual improprieties of top leaders on America became a public spectacle. But even then, there was enough forgiveness for wayward sexual behaviors that Clinton was not successfully removed from office.
We know that both Kennedy and Clinton were proven to be good, or even great presidents in spite of their sexual indiscretions.
But society is changing. More people are coming to grips with the fact that all human beings deserve respect; that all of us have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, even if we are female, black, gay or Muslim. We are recognizing that sexual assault is not a sport we can tolerate. We are coming to grips with the astounding devastation that these sexual misbehaviors deliver, and we are recognizing that the damage often lasts for generations.
It is time now, when we face the possibility of having a president who brags about sexually assaulting women, to ask the question about whether sexually deviant officials can do a good job as our representatives in government? The answer may be much more complicated than whether or not they broke a law, the creep factor, or whether or not they should be forgiven. The real question should be whether the sexual deviance hinders or obstructs them from performing their job.
Sexual improprieties by leaders is not a new phenomenon. We read about the totally unacceptable exploits of David in the Bible. In Biblical times when a king or rich man had an affair he brought the woman into his palace or home as a concubine (a live-in mistress that he supported), or he took her as a second or third wife. David broke all rules with Bathsheba, a married woman, who got pregnant with his baby. If you examine his reign after that event, his effectiveness declined from that point. After this encounter David faced problem after problem with his children including rape, revenge murder, and rebellion. When a leader lowers his/her standards, they cannot expect their family or followers to maintain high standards.
In July 2013 Anthony Weiner decided to run for Mayor of New York City only two years after being run out of national office for texting his private parts to several young women. All this happened while his beautiful wife was pregnant. But he was caught sexting yet again, and again. This is addiction! We have almost forgotten about San Diego Mayor Bob Filner, who admitted to numerous sexual allegations, but repeatedly refused to step down. We have welcomed Arnold Schwarzenegger back on our TVs after fathering a child by his housekeeper and covering it up for a decade.
Regardless of how people judge out of wedlock sexual behavior, when it is perpetrated by an elected official, we have to ask some very important questions about whether this behavior hampers the official’s ability to lead our nation and make good decisions.
The following are some questions to ponder.
Honesty: Consider that secret unacceptable sexual behavior requires that the perpetrator lie to his family and the public. If a person lies about the most personal things in their life, to the people who should be the most important to them, can we really expect them to be honest when it comes to representing citizens that they have never met? I think not.
Management Responsibility: Our elected leaders need to be able to manage their time and priorities. When sexting, porn, assaulting women, or bragging about assaults, propositioning interns, or any other secret unacceptable behavior takes priority over one’s family, it is logical that it also takes priority over their constituents. Few people can argue that when a person gets caught up in addictions like alcoholism, drugs, or gambling, his efficiency is so impaired that most companies consider it reason for termination. How much time and money must be devoted to the cover-up alone? These addictions devastate marriages and leave children scared and neglected. Sexual addictions such as womanizing is no less overwhelming to the responsibilities of public office.
Can we really trust a person to manage our government when they cannot manage the most important part of their lives?
Impulse Control: We need elected leaders who can manage their emotions while deciding policy for the people who elected, and in effect hired them.
If a person has no control over their personal behavior, how can we trust them to manage our government?
Clear thinking: Most of us know of a responsible, intelligent person who started an illicit affair, then all their clarity went out the window. When we are sexually charged, our brain is awash with endorphins that create arousal and euphoria. That is fantastic when we are in a committed relationship where that energy can be productive and satisfying for both. But when sexual behavior occurs that is secret and illicit, it can make a person do things and think things that are totally irrational and irresponsible. This becomes an altered state of reality rampant with gullibility for the wrong person at the wrong time and place. Many adulters excuse or even brag about their illicit behavior, even if their behavior leaves a trail of broken lives.
When the lives of millions are at stake, can we afford to trust a person who distracted by out-of-control sexual extravaganzas?
Support Healthy Values: Most citizens would agree that society works best when people are responsible, moral, ethical and able to work with others. If our leaders do not have those values, what kind of legislation are they going to generate? What kind of example are they giving to our children?
We know that children who grow up in misogynistic families, even if incest does not occur, will likely grow up to either being an exploiter, or becoming a victim. Do we really want our little girls seeing our political leaders degrade woman? Do we want our little boys excusing sexual bullying by saying, “President Trump does it.”
Ability to Withstand Inappropriate Pressure: If an elected official is vulnerable to any passing skirt, what is going to keep him from giving into a spy or a lobbyist who flashes some cleavage?
Ability to Avoid Entrapment: When an elected official has sexual secrets, there are going to be vultures coming out of the woodwork to bribe him/her to pass legislation or pay hush money. Scandal creates more scandal.
Narcissism: There is no doubt that there are many emotionally healthy and well balanced leaders in government, but unfortunately the celebrity of public office attracts many narcissists who crave the spotlight. Some may be able to govern adequately, but I prefer someone who loves the country more than their ego. Narcissism stems from a deep insecurity that has to be fed by adoring fans. This insecurity, as we have seen in Trump, may lead to wild accusations and ridiculous justifications because of the narcisist's desperate need for public approval or worship. That does not lend itself to effective governing.
Donald Trump sounds like a young teen when he defends his “locker room talk.” But even if boasting about sexual assault was common in locker rooms, and even if he did not actually do what he says he did, it shows that he is so grossly insecure that he has to create lies to build himself up, and that he thinks that molesting women is an OK thing to brag about.
Entitlement: There is a famous clichés that says, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” This may not be absolutely true of every one, but it true of most people with absolute power, like the dictators Trump admires. Our Constitution was set up with checks and balances for this very reason.
The most desirable elected officials are those who see their job as a responsibility, rather than a license. Even then, some are seduced by groupies or by inflated popularity.
Take Responsibility for Behavior: I believe in forgiveness, but the Bible says you must repent in order to be forgiven. Most politicians, like other wayward adulterers, deny their wrongdoings repeatedly until there is no way to deny it any longer. That is not repentance. Trump has shown that he not only never sincerely admits to his behaviors after they are exposed, but he goes on the attack and seeks to drag everyone in his path down with him. So many victims of San Diego’s Mayor Bob Filner came forward that they had set up a special phone number just for his victims. Filner said he would seek a very brief treatment as a penance rather than resign. I hope he did get successful treatment, however, my impression is that he has no clue about the depth of damage he has done, and lifelong sex addiction needs in-depth treatment.
Short-Sighted: When a politician engages in risky immoral behavior with little or no forethought about the consequences, how can he really be far-sighted regarding legislation and the needs of the people? If a teen made life-changing bad decisions, we would understand that it was due to an immature brain and perhaps poor background. But when a mature politician makes choices that would almost assuredly set himself up for family crisis, illegal cover-ups, or compromise his job, how can we excuse it? John Edwards and others have paid out hundreds of thousands of dollars in hush money, much of it reportedly coming from public coffers. If a man cannot think that far ahead, how can he write legislation for the country?
Respect for Women: Personally, I am less upset about a man visiting a prostitute than if he sexually harasses his employees and innocent colleagues. The prostitute chooses to take part in her trade, but sexual harassment is unwanted abusive toward people who are vulnerable, and it leaves deep emotional scars. So many sex addicted men really believe that women are impressed by their junk. This insanity is amazing. I do not think there is a woman on earth that is impressed by the erect penis of a stranger, yet flashers are delusional to believe otherwise. I want my legislators to have respect for women and have some idea of women’s value other than as a sex object.
In summary, I have no doubt that people can recover from sexual addiction, and I do know that marriages can thrive and even improve after working through infidelity. I also believe in the power of forgiveness. Nevertheless, it is hard enough for a spouse, who has intimate knowledge of the infidel, to decide if a cheating partner is repentant enough and recovered enough to stay in the marriage, and it is virtually impossible for a voter to have enough intimate knowledge to know if the formerly cheating politician is recovered and capable of representing the people in government.
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